002 - Can I Get an ETA?

“Am I grinding too hard, or not hard enough?”

This is a question I often ask myself… like, am I doing too little or too much?

We’re gonna get deep today, y’all, but before we do, I want to address something in relation to my last post about Issa Rae’s new film, One of Them Days. In a nutshell, I was talking about how I wish there was more marketing behind this project. I won’t get into it too much because I want you all to go back and read that post, but I mentioned that with Keke Palmer starring in this film, it would’ve been cool to see both SZA and Issa as guests on Keke’s podcast, Baby, This Is Keke Palmer, to talk about the project.

The universe has a funny way of humbling you, because the day after I shared that thought in my post, Keke dropped a YouTube video where she had Issa as a guest on her podcast… wow, lol. While I still stand by my opinion that I wish there was more marketing, this podcast release made me bite my tongue just a bit. As a reminder, One of Them Days is out in theaters on January 17, 2025, and I encourage everyone to go see it!

Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s dive into today’s thought: Am I grinding hard or not hard enough? This is a question I ask myself all day, every day, and if we’re being honest, it has me in a chokehold. Living in Los Angeles for two years now, I feel like I’ve been in “survival mode” this whole time, grinding and really trying to make my dreams come true. I’m not naïve to the fact that nothing worth having comes easily—you have to put in the work. But I often feel like I’m stuck between two opposing ends. On one hand, I feel like I’m grinding and pushing myself a little too hard; on the other, I feel like I’m not pushing hard enough.

I know I put a lot of pressure on myself because, as a creative working in entertainment, there’s no “set blueprint” for making it in this industry, and that’s scary. I don’t always know what to do. I’ve officially been in the TV/film industry for four years now and have busted my ASS to get to where I am today. While I’m grateful and blessed for all the opportunities I’ve had, I’m still grinding and chasing after what I want—and it’s not easy… like, at all. Being in LA and working in entertainment, I’m surrounded by celebrities, industry-leading professionals, influencers, and all that. While it’s cool, transparently, being in these spaces puts a fire under me to work that much harder to make my dreams a reality. Although I’m often inspired to grind even harder, I’m just as often met with burnout. It feels like I take five steps forward and three steps back.

I’ve always had a “blueprint” for how to achieve my goals. In middle school, the goal was making it into high school, and the blueprint was simple: get my work done, pass my tests, and graduate the 8th grade—easy. Once I got into high school, the new goal was getting into college, and I had to figure out how to maximize the next four years. That blueprint was harder but still tangible: go to class, pass my tests, pick up extracurriculars, keep my GPA up, apply for colleges, and bam—done. In college, same thing. The goal changed slightly, but I still had a tangible plan: go to class, pass my tests, graduate, and start building my career. That’s where things got tricky.

I got my start in this industry back in 2020, during my sophomore year of college, when I was picked up as an intern for a producer. After two years with that company, I for sure thought I’d have a job secured with them by graduation… and, well, my spidey senses were wrong. That was a tough pill to swallow because I was not only their longest-serving intern, but I was also promoted to Lead Intern after my first year and helped train new cohorts. But I digress. I say all this to say that I’ve always wanted to work in TV and film, and I thought that company would be my big break. While the experience opened some doors for me, I still had to knock on a lot of others myself. I am still trying to get my break and was so green to this industry and thought, “Once you’re in, you’re in.” And while that’s kind of true, I still have to find my way. As an entrepreneur, I’m trying to scale my business while building the “Austun Reid” brand. As a creative, I’m always pushing out content and exploring new ventures. As a writer and producer, I’m constantly building my career, pitching ideas, networking, and seeking new opportunities.

I’m being pulled in so many directions, grinding hard, but still feeling like I’m not doing enough. Honestly, even though I’m grinding and chasing after my dreams, I’m not in the place I thought I’d be by now. It feels like I’m not “doing enough.” Are these thoughts unhealthy? Maybe. But if I had a dream and a vision for myself, am I not allowed to feel upset when I don’t achieve them?

I am enjoying the journey, for sure, but dang—can I get an update on when I’ll arrive at the destination? Anyway, that’s all I have for y’all today. Let me know if any of ya’ll relate!

As always, thanks for reading. I REALLY appreciate it. To keep up with all things Aus, follow me on all platforms @austunreid

Cheers,

Austun