006 - HELP! My Frontal Lobe Is Developing.
I turn 25 this week, and not gonna lie…I’m kinda sacred?
February babies are the best, and I’ll take it a step further and say FEBRUARY Aquarius’ are the best—no ifs, ands, or buts about that. This Saturday, February 8th, I turn 25 years old, and as I write this, it doesn’t feel real. I always look forward to my birthday because not only is it Black History Month, but The Grammys are typically the Sunday of my birthday week, kicking things off, and the Super Bowl typically falls the following Sunday, concluding my birthday week. So, I have a great time every year celebrating music, sports, Black history… but most importantly, myself.
Speaking of Grammys, last night, February 2, was the 67th Grammy Awards, and outside of the fact that I wasn’t in attendance for the FIRST time since I moved out to LA, it was a great show. I was fortunate enough to attend both the 65th and 66th Grammy Awards, and these were both immaculate shows. I think the 67th Awards just hit differently. I am such an “I’m rooting for everyone Black” type of person, and last night was such a great showcase of Black excellence. Kendrick walked away with 5 awards, Doechii is one of only 3 women to win “Best Rap Album,” and Beyoncé walked away with the coveted “Album of The Year” for her album Cowboy Carter after years of waiting. Alicia Keys was presented with the Global Impact Award, Quincy Jones was honored and had a musical tribute, and so much more. Overall, this was one of the best Grammy Awards I’ve seen in a minute, and although I was not in attendance this year, I was clapping and cheering at my screen yesterday. Congrats to all nominated artists and even bigger congrats to all the winners.
Now, let’s get into today’s thought: I’m really about to be 25, and I’m scared!? Maybe it’s not as big of a deal as I am making it, but I’ve been internally crashing out for the past few months as this age of 25 creeps around the corner. I think part of my angst for this new year of life is because looking back, the man I thought I would be at 25 when I was 16 is not the man I am today—and this is not necessarily a bad thing. Obviously, life never goes to plan, and both pivoting and evolving is all part of the journey but, 16-year-old me for sure thought I would be married, my second kid on the way, with a solid career, making hella bread, but that’s just not where I am in life currently, and that’s okay… (me talking to my 16-year-old self). As someone who is currently chasing their dreams, living paycheck to paycheck, building a career, and literally trying to create an empire—all while the price of eggs is rising—there is no way in hell I could imagine being married right now, much less having a little Austun or two running around. I will say that 16-year-old Austun would be in such awe of 25-year-old Austun and think that he is so cool, and that’s what makes me proud and keeps me going.
Something else that “scares” me about this new age is that, since the pandemic, time has not felt real, and I feel like I’m so much younger than I actually am. I was a fresh 20-year-old when the pandemic started, and by the time the world got back to some sense of normalcy, I was 22 years old, and honestly, I feel like I'm still 22. I don’t know, I can’t put my finger on it. Plus, when I was younger, it seemed like adults seemed more adult-ish, and I’m not feeling that way at all lol. 25 is like a REAL adult—I can finally rent a car without all them extra fees, I’ll be kicked off my parents’ insurance by 26, and the decisions I make have life-changing consequences, both good and bad. Not to put all my business out there, but I’m more intentional about dating, and although I’m just casually dating here and there, I do wanna be married with a kid on the way by 30ish…so, I got about 5 years to make SOMETHING shake, and although I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now and really focused on my career…lemme me save the rest for my therapy lol.
I am legit in my mid-twenties, and that’s an insane concept to me. I kind of talked myself into a spiral because 25 sounds absolutely scary, but it shouldn’t be. Statistically, your frontal lobe is fully developed by the time you turn 25, and I don’t know if it’s a placebo effect or what, but I’ve definitely felt the development of my frontal lobe. The decisions I make, the boundaries I’ve been setting, and just overall, the forward-thinking I’ve been having? I know it ain’t FULLY developed, but I feel it developing for sure. I for sure put a lot of pressure on myself because I know what I can do, and if I want something, I for sure am gonna get it, point blank, period. I say this to say—once I graduated college and moved out to LA, I had such a vision for who I would be and WHAT I would be doing by this point in my life. Am I doing EVERYTHING I wanted to do? Absolutely not, but I am living my dreams, so I’m grateful for that.
As I count down the last few days of me being 24 and reflect on the past few years of my life, I am very proud of the man that I am and who I am becoming. If we’re being real, everyone internally has something more that they want in life, and yes, there is more to life that I want and more goals I will achieve, I am at peace with where I am today…enjoying the journey and taking life now day at at time. Being okay with making mistakes but also learning from them. Stepping out of my comfort zone more and pushing myself to take bigger risks. Learning to be okay with failure as long as I am making progress…sheeh is this the frontal lobe talking? I am grateful that God has blessed me to see another year of life and as I am entering into this new year of life, I’m taking away expectations and just living life. I’m such a planner and the type of person who NEEDS to know what’s next—but in this new year of life, I’m just encouraging myself to loosen the reins… just a little bit.
Whew, that’s all I have for y’all today. As always, thanks for reading. I REALLY appreciate it. To keep up with all things Aus, follow me on all platforms @austunreid. Happy Black History Month, Happy Aquarius Season, and most importantly, Happy Birthday to ME!
Cheers,
24 Year Old Austun
