007 - Two Steps Forward and 10 Steps Back.
I picked the absolute worst time to work in Hollywood, and I’m crashing out.
Between COVID, the 2024 Writers’ Strike, and the recent LA fires… Hollywood is not the same as it once was, and it sucks not gonna lie. You may be thinking, “Uhh, Austun, if you think it’s so bad, why not just leave LA?” Well—haha, that’s the thing… I don’t want to. It’s not :bad”, just… not what I was expecting… I guess? Yes, I’m crashing out, but I'm also living my best life. Also, when chasing your dreams, is it ever what you expected? Hmm. There’s also something about a challenge that entices me, and someone once told me, “Before you make it big, you’ll have more bad days than good days.” And that’s true as hell. My goodness, that’s true. My goal is to make it big, and with big dreams come even bigger challenges and hurdles you have to face, so because I know that…I’m just dealing with the challenges as they come and allowing them to shape me and help me learn lessons through these challenges.
I’m going to be transparent… like I typically am, but I’m just preparing y’all because we’re going to get deep today.
First off, let me start by saying HELLO! I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry, I haven’t dropped something in like a month. My birthday was Feb 8, and it took me a few days to recover post-birthday *cough cough* but I had a great time bringing in 25. The week after my birthday, I flew out to San Francisco for NBA All-Star Weekend, which was a great time. The following weekend, I attended the NAACP Awards, and I just got back from Austin, Texas, for SXSW, so between planning and traveling for these events, working all day, and editing content, I had no time or energy to do anything else. Transparently, I attempted multiple times to write this post but had serious writer’s block. Plus, I didn’t want to trauma dump TOO much on y’all, lol.
That all being said, let’s get into today’s thought: “What TF am I doing?!” both in a good and bad way. Like I said, I’m gonna keep it 100 today, so buckle up.
The wild thing about the entertainment industry is that there is no job security—I mean, I guess no industry is 100% secure, but especially not this business. One day, you can have a job, and the next, you may not, and you’re constantly having to bounce from project to project just to keep a paycheck coming in. Most shows film for about four to six months out of the year, and after that, you have to find a new gig again. Also, you can’t depend on hopping back onto the same show next year because it may not even be renewed. I mean, look at how many shows get canceled at the drop of a hat.
In June 2024, that was my reality. Not that my show got canceled, but one day I had a job, and the next, I didn’t. We wrapped filming Season 3 of Bel-Air, and I was so certain I would immediately get a job after, and I needed a consistent income because bills don’t care if you have a job or not—they only care about being paid…on time. Also, I guess you could say I got comfortable because my first month living in LA, I got a job working for a show called Fight Night in the writers’ room. Once that was wrapped, I immediately transferred to working on the production side of Bel-Air. So when Bel-Air wrapped, I thought for sure I was going to have another job lined up. But… that was not the case.
Living in an expensive city like LA and going from a consistent weekly income to unemployment turned my world completely upside down… literally. I was making some money from social media, but it wasn’t enough to cover all my bills. Plus, that was “play-play” money—funds I’d use when I wanted to get some clothes, try a new restaurant, or grab a couple of drinks with the homies.
We wrapped the show on June 9, 2024, and I was able to “survive” June and July living off my last Bel-Air check, some savings, and my social media income. Also, since I wasn’t working, I used that time to sharpen my writing and producing skills, build my social media presence, and apply for other shows. I was hopeful I’d get a job soon, so I made sure to enjoy my summer while also cutting costs here and there.
August rolled around, and that’s when things started to get rocky—the bills kept coming in, but the money did not. By this time, it had been about 2 months since my last paycheck. I was running up every credit card I had and draining my savings just to stay afloat… on top of that, job application responses started rolling in, and they all said the same thing:
“Thank you for your interest in joining us at [said company]. Our team has reviewed your application for the ___ position, but unfortunately, we have decided not to move forward with your candidacy at this time.”
WHAT?! I was more than qualified for the positions I was applying for, yet rejection after rejection kept hitting me. The more I applied, the more rejections I received, and the worse I started to feel. That’s when a wave of depression hit. For about the whole month of August, I had no appetite, yet I was throwing up daily due to stress. I couldn’t sleep, but I also couldn’t get out of bed. My mental health was at the worst it had ever been. I stopped creating altogether—no writing, no content, nothing. I was stuck. It was rough.
By late September, I finally got a part-time production job, which brought in some money, but barely enough to cover my bills. Then, in early October, I found another part-time job. I spent the month trying to pay down credit cards, build my savings back up, catch up on bills, and get my mental health back to a better place. I was making a lot of forward progress…but \ end of October, my world came crashing down when I got the heartbreaking news that one of my favorite aunts had passed away from cancer. I truly felt like a gut punch because just a few weeks before, we were talking on the phone about me seeing her and the rest of her family for Thanksgiving in a few weeks.
November started weird as I traveled back home to bury my aunt. I stayed home for a bit, still processing my aunt’s passing and helping my family grieve this devastating loss. I headed back ti LA, and things started looking up—I landed a gig working on The Jennifer Hudson Show, which was a full circle moment because I was an audience member just a year prior now I was WORKING on the show…crazy! December and January were a blur… in a good way. I was working, paying off my bills, saving, creating on social media more, and just feeling, looking, and doing better.
By the end of January, I got an opportunity to intern at a record label—FULLY PAID I may add, and Since The Jennifer Hudson Show only films two to three days a week, I split my time between the show and my internship. In February, right before my 25th birthday, a recruiter from the company Blavity reached out to me via LinkedIn. They were hiring, and they thought I’d be a perfect fit. I immediately sent in my application, and a week later, I got the news—I made it to the first round of interviews. That round went GREAT, and I was pushed to the second and final interview. Two days later, I had my last interview, and a few days after that, I got the call that they officially wanted to hire me. They let me know this was a fully remote position and would still allow me to work on my craft—writing and producing on the side. Also, when they told me my starting salary? I almost passed out. This was the most money I’d ever been offered, and it would fund my creative projects. Wow.
I was entering 25 on top. My blog (AusThought) dropped…make sure you subscribe. I caught up on all my bills. I had a steady income again. I was starting a new job with a crazy salary. Things were really looking up… until…I got a call. February 19, I got a call from the person who interviewed me—the same one who offered me the job. They told me there had been some internal movement they weren’t aware of, and because of that, the position was no longer available. WHAT?! You gotta be kidding me. It felt like a gut punch. I literally had an out-of-body experience. Not gonna lie, I definitely cried about that one. But I dusted myself off and kept moving...as always.
I believe everything happens for a reason, and as much as I wanted this job, I know it just means God has something bigger and better for me. I don’t know what it is yet, but I’m holding on to faith. For those who don’t know, I’m a writer and producer, and my ultimate goal is to run my own production company—writing, producing, and creating jobs for POC trying to break into the industry. So honestly? Blavity—which is a tech company—wasn’t actually getting me any closer to that goal. I mean yes, the money was good…great even, and I definitely wanted use this opportunity to see if I wanted to take a different career path. Maybe that door closed because something even greater is waiting for me.
These last nine months have felt like I’m gasping for air every second of every day, just trying to grip onto life. TRULY. But in the midst of fighting for my life, I’m also living my best life—going to events I could only dream of attending. Traveling to various places on other people’s dime. Working with and meeting my favorite celebrities, all while chasing my dreams and building a career as a writer and producer. Even though it feels like this is all for nothing sometimes… every time I reach my wit’s end, God reminds me that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I can’t quit…I won’t quit.
This was a lot to share. I sat on this for four weeks because I was in my head about being too real and feeling vulnerable, but I wanted to share this because if another person chasing their dreams—whatever they may be, I want you to know: you are not alone.
As always, I appreciate you tuning in to AusThoughts. To keep up with all things Aus, follow me on all platforms @austunreid.
With love,
Austun
